My Foundation

As a marriage and family therapist I am, by definition, systemic in my approach to problem solving. Meaning, I collaborate with clients to explore how various “systems” (relationships, family units, culture, etc.) create distress and dysfunction. While I have been trained in most major theoretical orientations, I have pursued further training and study in two specific theories. Narrative Therapy, which looks at the stories we tell about ourselves, and the identity we develop, as a result of our place within these systems. As well as, Emotionally Focused Therapy which places emphasis on attachment theory, and how our attachment styles impact our intrapersonal and interpersonal interactions. Working with both theories in conjunction is not common, but I find it extremely effective.

I utilize my training in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to help explore how your attachment style is playing a role in how you view yourself and how you believe others view you. Attachment styles create a “lens,” or a perception, for how we interpret both of these, often referred to as “self and other.” In addition, I explore how your relationships with important key figures shape decisions you make about how to spend your work and leisure time. Many people come to the realization that much of their self-doubt has formed in direct relation to the messages they have received from family, friends and intimate partners throughout their life. More on attachment.

To play off of that, I work with Narrative Therapy to further explore those life experiences and uncover belief systems and “stories” you have developed about yourself. We often have limited awareness about why we think the way we think and behave like we do. You may have found yourself experiencing significant distress and discomfort and can’t quite pinpoint why. Truth of the matter is, most people are living the life they think they “should” be,  rather than living the life their authentic self desires. 

With these tools, among others, I work alongside individuals of all ages and stages of life to begin the process toward taking action and creating change. I collaborate with you to be able to make tough decisions (think: going to college or not, changing careers, starting a business), create balance between work and relationships, and ultimately start living the life you deserve. 

Focus Therapy, Encinitas, CA. Jay Wick, Psychotherapist