In a nutshell, people who are securely attached have learned to trust that other people will take care of them; that they are worthy of love and belonging. People whose experiences with a caregiver are negative or unpredictable still want connection. They still want to feel like they belong and are loved (remember, connection is a biological drive), but their experiences have led to internalizing the opposite feelings.
Read More…Again, all of this is to drive home the importance of understanding that our need to connect with others is hardwired into our basic existence. It’s pretty much a matter of life and death. If we aren’t able to form bonds, we do not thrive.
Read MoreTo get a better understanding of how adult relationships can go awry, we need to have a look at some of the first relationships we form in life. But, to understand why that is important we need a bit of a history lesson.
Read MoreWant a fun way to put your relationship to the test, and to see the interplay between primary and secondary emotions in real time? TRY RIDING A TANDEM BIKE TOGETHER!
Read MoreWhen our attachment needs are triggered it’s more often than not about wants and desires, hurt feelings, longing for closeness and support, needing to know you are important, that you matter to your partner. But, usually those needs are hard to express to a partner you feel might not get it. Or, it might not even really register with you at the time that this is what you’re actually asking for.
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